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Chapter 1
And there I saw the destruction… the feeling inside my soul arose as I watched those people invading my place of solitude
, my place of salvation. I wanted to tear them up into small pieces… into shreds… but I contained myself…
the feeling that I have long time forgotten came streaming back inside my heart… All I wanted was solitude but then
I knew that it was impossible. I couldn’t stop something that was destined to happen. I had no other choice I had to
run, to escape… to find a new place where I can confide in darkness and forget the vivid colors of the people
who disturbed my peace… I hated them… I hated those people… I didn’t have any particular reason to
but I just did. I grabbed my black cloak and escaped from the back door.
The darkness dominated outside… the bright moon was up in the dark sky giving life to unanimated shadows of the nearby
trees. There were no stars in the sky… was that an omen? I didn’t care , I put my cloak over my shoulders
and continued running towards the distorted trees towards the unknown , towards that darkness in which I wanted to find
peace.
I kept running for quite some time… I was getting tired…my legs became limp and I couldn’t balance myself
any longer… I fell. I hadn’t been feeding in along time… I was feeling lightheaded… I need to feed…
now… I needed blood… Suddenly I smelled something… I slowly rose to my feet. The smell was coming from south.
The familiar smell… Blood! My mind became clouded … all I could think was is to quench my thirst… I started
running towards the scent, I wasn’t thinking straight , my legs were just caring me towards my meal… towards my
salvation… I was running through the trees , their branches kept scratching my face and my arms… I could smell
my own blood… but I didn’t care, I kept running… I was so thirsty…
Suddenly the scent became really close , I stopped , trying to look in the darkness.. I heard weird sounds… sounds of
pain and helplessness… I felt a smile appearing on my face… if my heart was still beating it would be racing like
crazy inside my chest. I moved the tree branches … I was about ready to attack my prey… when what I saw suddenly
stopped me… The person whom I saw in the darkness… covered in blood… that person… took away what was
left of my breath… it was a young boy… about 17 years old… his hair was dark as the night and his deep blue
eyes were starring back at me in pain… he reached his hand towards me… he thought I was his savior… he grabbed
the sleeve of my shirt and pulled it… he was trying to say something… but he was injured badly… blood was
flowing out of him like springs running down the mountain… the blood… blood… I was so thirsty. I wasn’t
thinking straight. I reached out to him , I saw tears in his eyes and then a soft smile in his face. He fell into my arms
, not even suspecting that his savior is actually his nemesis… his hunter… and that he soon would be dead…
I opened my mouth… and sunk my fangs into his neck… he screamed in pain… I kept holding him in my
arms… and drinking.. Drinking.. His delicious blood… he tried to struggle but he was too weak. The bright moon
in the sky was watching us… I felt strength and energy rushing inside my body…
Suddenly the boy stopped struggling… his body became limp and motionless… I heard his heart stopped beating…at
that time I realized what I have done. I was cursing myself for that… but I was already damned… I knew I had to
do something… I couldn’t let him die… like that… so I lifted his pale face and poured my blood into
him… I was hoping it wasn’t too late…
I was praying it wasn’t… praying? My human emotions were still lingering inside my body… was it because
of the moon… or was it because he reminded me of someone from my human past… I cannot remember… it was over
3oo years ago… Suddenly I felt his body shuddering in my arms… I was watching his transformation…
his blood stopped flowing… his wounds healed… I saw sharp fangs appearing inside his delicate mouth… I smiled…
I saved him… or did I damn him…? His eyes flew open… they were no longer innocently blue… they were
red… like his blood which I took…
Chapter 2
His now lifeless eyes looked back at me…
he looked confused… he looked lost. The moment that I would never forget , he has already forgotten. Since he became
one of the damned ,all of his human memories were gone.
He was still in my arms , curled up like
a little kitten. He looked at me with his blood-red eyes. I couldn’t say anything , I was just looking back at him.
Suddenly the red of his eyes started fading away . His eyes turned to they normal color… serene blue. He leaned against
me and whispered : “ Thank you”. I looked down at him , he was unconscious , even though he was a vampire
now , he still lost lots of blood… and most of it was to satisfy my thirst… I felt guilty , as I did every time
I fed… But never before I was tempted to save my prey’s life… why was he any different…? Did he remind
me of someone? … Who is he?
Suddenly I felt the a strange smell in the air… a familiar
smell… the smell that reeked of betrayal and vengeance… another vampire? Did I trespass into someone else’s
territory…? I picked up the boy and started running away… towards my old sanctuary .
My sanctuary was located at the old cemetery on the east side of the forest , it was an old abandoned temple which everyone
called “Temple of Shadows”. It was a perfect place for a vampire. It was never visited by any humans and
it was dark and mysterious.
I ran for awhile , then I finally reached my destination.
I was by the steps of my sanctuary , wild plants were spread all over the old building , the columns that held the roof were
covered with mold and thorned plants , the entrance was barely visible… its been awhile since I have been here…
almost 300 years…
I slowly pushed the door open . It opened and in front of me I saw darkness
, immediately I felt comfort and safety. It has been 300 years but this place hasn’t changed a bit… I walked towards
the altar , the wooden structure decayed but still seemed reliable. I put down the boy on the floor and put my cloak under
his head. He was still…asleep…
The I took out the lighter from my pocket and lit the
candles in the room. I wanted to see what has become of my home… I was surprised. It hasn’t change a bit , all
the furniture and decorations looked the same as I left them… even my piano… it looked as beautiful as always.
I slowly walked towards it… I ran my hand through the smooth surface of this reminiscent instrument. It held so many
memories for me. I sat down and as soon as I put my hands on the keys of this nostalgic instruments , the song filled
the air , the song that I thought I have forgotten ,the song that seemed to be lost inside my memories which I left behind
after I was betrayed by the one whom I trusted the most… The past was flashing in front of my eyes as I played the melody…
I was remembering… him. The one whom I met 300 years ago , the one that captivated my heart and then tore it into shreds…
As I was remembering long forgotten anger filled my veins , the melody of sorrow that I was playing turned into the melody
of despair and hate. My fingers were violently running through the keys , hitting each one with the anger that was released
after 300 years of captivity.
Suddenly I heard a new instrument blend in with my piano…
it was a very unique instrument which synchronized with my soul …
Despair cry
I treated you wrongly... my abhorrent crime and its punishment...
your cold, devilish smile...
Wish cry
my prayers fail to reach their destination; my love exists only in a dream
this I wish to tell you, until my grief fades
my lies to you... my bloodstained crime and its punishment...
and still, your heartless smile...
Wish cry
my prayers fail to reach their destination; my love exists only in a dream
this I wish to tell you, until my tears run out
even in my dreams, your fading afterimage dissolves before my eyes
now, if I implore you, the eternal light will...
Someone was singing along with my feelings…the fascinating voice that had so much feeling in it… feeling of sorrow
, regret and anger… feelings which I had… feelings which I was expressing with my music. I stopped playing and
looked a the person who was singing… I was shocked… it was that young boy whom I damned… he had a voice
of an angel but he was a devil… just like I am… He stood next to me. I was fascinated with his voice… I
never heard such a wonderful voice since… that time 300 years ago…Suddenly he started talking.
“ You , saved me… I don’t remember much but I remember your embrace and safety I felt when I was in
your arms… I thank you. I must have been seriously injured… I don’t remember anything of my past…
I was sleeping when I heard a melody that touched my soul…a melody filled with sorrow at first and then eternal suffering
and anger… I felt like my soul was synchronizing with that melody and started singing…” - he said slowly.
“ You have an astonishing voice… What is your name?” - I couldn’t tell him… what happened…
what I did…
“ My name is Juka… that’s the only
thing I can remember…”
“ Juka…? “
Chapter 3
I couldn’t tell him the truth… I couldn’t
tell him what I did to him… how I deprived him of his mortality… his freedom…Took his only chance of going
to the place , humans call “heaven”. I couldn’t tell him , at least not yet…
“ My name is Mana. I am a pianist … and I am not … not… human. “ - I said slowly , stuttering
at every word I said… I didn’t know how to tell him… Right now I was just waiting for his reaction.
He looked at me in surprise , as if asking to continue.
“ Tell me… what
happened… to me… please … I beg you… please tell me…” - he muttered in a quiet tone. -”
Tell me!”
I couldn’t resist his plea.. I told him… but not
the real truth , I was afraid he would hate me. I told him what he needed to know and nothing more… As I was telling
him , he tried to remember … but it seemed futile. He couldn’t remember , at least not yet… he was just
reborn but memories of his past will come back… when it is time…
“
So… you still saved my life… even though… I am still alive , I am dead… I don’t know…
I have mixed feelings… of happiness and sadness… or gratitude yet hate… Tell me more about you…
I want to know… Since I cannot tell you about myself… I wish I could… I want to remember…” -
he said in his astonishing voice.
I told him about myself. I told him
about my band which recently broke up… I told him about suffering I went through… I told him of betrayal
by the ones I loved… I told him why I was running away…I told him about my sadness and regrets… yet my hopes
and dreams for a better future… The only thing I didn’t tell him was about… that person who betrayed me…
the person whom I loved… the person whom I created…my first student… my first mistake…the man whom
I met during my early years as a vampire… a man who became my first companion..
The days passed and I learned about Juka everyday… his personality
traits… his abilities and talents in singing… his mysterious voice , but mostly his sudden appearance in
my life. Juka became to adapt to his new lifestyle… or night life and day sleep… to drinking blood … both
mine and our preys . It seemed that he was finally ready to enter the world or modern vampires…
One night I decided to take him to the city. We left “ Temple of Shadows” early in the evening , as soon
as the sun disappeared from the sky. When we reached out destination , Juka was amazed by what he saw… The
tall buildings spread all over the city , lots of bright lights ,people out in the streets , loud music and restless night
life and of course other vampires. Juka’s eyes were sparkling as he watched mortals… as he watched them move…
it seemed that he was envying them in a way… I was already used to that…
I lived in this world for centuries and won myself a good position as a professional musician and manager in the mordern world
of music. As the years passed , it seemed that humanity was more and more fascinated with the world of darkness , the world
of death which they viewed as a perfection of life… as an escape ladder into peace and safety… I despised
those people… though it did place me in a higher standing. Lots of other people claimed to be vampire or zombies but
really they weren’t , so it was easy to blend in with the crowds and be just “ another one”…
My taste for music was changed aswell , since the times when I was listening to the music which now is called “classical”
, my fascination with it havent died out… yet I was enchanted with the new styles of music which was called “death
metal” , through that music I could express all my feelings of vampire… of death experience of all my regrets
and lost feelings of humanity in my soul and my suffering every time I lost someone I loved with all my dead heart…
I found people who were the same as me and we created band together , but that was 10 years ago… Now I had a new
aim in my damned life… to start over… forget everything erase all… right now I had Juka… his voice
was something I was looking for. My previous band fell apart… with each member looking for their own new path of life…
a path of discoveries both musically and personally… I think I found mine. This is a beginning…
As we walked along the streets , enjoying the night life… it seemed that someone was watching us… I could feel
that same presence as that fateful night…
To be continued.....
Chapter 4
As we walked down the streets , gazes of admiration were
focused on us. People stopped to look at us , they stepped aside , clearing the way . I was already used to that kind
of treatment , but it was something new to Juka , yet he held himself high , walking with confidence and elegance. I noticed
a slight smile on his face… he was enjoying all the attention. I was pleased aswell. But there was one thing that
was bothering me , I could feel familiar presence… and danger. I looked around , people were gathered all over to look
at us , we were center of their attention , but I could sense danger and death.
Suddenly
I saw familiar face in the crowd! I couldn’t believe that “he” was here! I could see him watching us . I
could see the grin on his face. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him… Suddenly he disappeared but I could
still his smile… that dangerous smile… he was back. But why?
I was
still lost deep inside my thoughts when I felt Juka’s gaze. He could feel that something was bothering me. I looked
back at him and shook my head. He gave me a faint smile as we were walking into the NightClub.
Loud music blasted with full power when we opened the doors of the NightClub. It was Juka’s first night in the city
after his rebirth , but it seemed that he was a frequent visitor to such places. Though he didn’t remember his past
, it seems that his feelings are still the same. Juka was still a mystery to me… I didn’t know anything about
him , yet I showed him my world and invited him to eternity dyed in scarlet blood and suffering.
As soon as we walked in , we were center of attention . Juka looked at me and gave me a slick smile, then he started walking
towards the crowd on the dance floor. I wasn’t into partying or dancing at loud places like this one , but Juka was
still young… he still was a kid… and he wanted to have fun. I watched him from faraway as a parent watches his
child. Juka was dancing in the middle of dance floor , both genders seemed to be fascinated by his beauty , energy and enthusiasm.
I was sitting in one of the VIP areas which I rented for
this occasion. I was surrounded by darkness and blue lights from the dance floor. I was watching Juka. Suddenly I felt a familiar
scent…
“ He is quite something , isn’t he? “ - familiar
voice whispered into my ear. I jerked away.
I saw him , sitting next to me… smiling. I was speechless.
“ Long time no see , Mana…” - he said with confidence and fluency . I glared at him with repugnance
, I didn’t want to see him. I stood up and started walking away when suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me back
down.
“ Not going to answer me? Isnt that ill-mannered ,
Mana? “ - He whispered again. I remained silent. He moved closer to me , I jerked away again.
“ Mana… how can you be so cold? I went through all this trouble to come back and find you. But really
, you changed. I thought that you would still be locked up at that sanctuary of yours , spending your eternity in solitude
, waiting for me to come back. But I guess I was wrong…” - He looked at Juka , who vigorously dancing in the middle
of the crowd. - “ He is a nice catch and really young… Your taste haven’t changed , Mana.” He brushed
his hand through my hair. I slapped his hand off. I was really suspicious of the reason he came back…
“ Why did you come back? “ - I finally asked. I could see his eyes lit up when he heard me speak. He leaned
closer and whispered.
“
Revenge…”
I was stunned… I couldn’t say a word or move… I was looking straight into his
eyes. They were sparkling with the same anger and resent as I last remember them. I didn’t know what
he was planning but I knew that he was serious…
“ Mana , I will be killing you slowly… I want to see you in pain both physical and emotional… I want to
see you losing everything you love… I want to see you slowly disappear into darkness which you love so much… And
when you will be perishing into hell , I would like that my face would be the last thing you see… “ - He said
, in his emotionless , alluring voice… which always captivated me. He reached his hand towards my neck . I caught
his hand and clutched it with all my strength. He seemed surprised.
“ Don’t forget , I am not as weak as you think I am. Don’t forget that I am a man aswell.” - I said
looking straight into his eyes.
I saw a satisfied grin on his face yet again. He easily pushed my hand away and kissed
me. And before I could do anything , he vanished.
I could still feel the warmth of his lips on mine. I quickly
wiped my lips . I was still shocked… no , I was afraid , but not of him… I was afraid of my feelings which I have
buried deep inside my consciousness for all these years… He came back for the revenge… though he didn’t
realize that ever since he left , I lost everything , even my faith in happiness…
I was still paralyzed by what happened
, when suddenly I heard a screams coming fro the dancing floor.
To be continued….
Chapter 5
I turned around and saw a huge crowd of people gathered by the dancing
area. My heart skiped… Juka! I jumped over the barriers and rushed towards him. I pushed people aside trying to
get through , when I finally succeeded I saw him… Juka was lying on the floor moaning in pain , his
hands were tightly wrapped around his head . I quickly rushed towards him… I didn’t know what was going on , but
it all seemed connected. I leaned towards Juka’s face and kissed him on the forehead , putting my spell on him…
this was the only thing I could to stop his pain. He calmed down… he fell asleep.
I looked at people that were surrounding us and shook my head , motioning that I had control over the situation. Then I picked
Juka up and headed towards the doors. Music was still playing loudly but people were still silent, watching us leave. I didn’t
pay attention to them.
I carried Juka in my arms all the way to the sanctuary
, though he seemed so strong … he was still a child. I looked at his handsome face… his features were serene
and relaxed. I was glad to see that his pain was gone. Silence surrounded us , I could hear crickets chirping as I was walking
through the forest. The moon guided me with its cold and placid glow. Finally I reached “ Temple of Shadows” .
“ We are home…” - I whispered softly.
As I walked into
my sanctuary I put Juka on my bed and covered him with my black velvet blanket. I was worried. Especially now ,that
“ he” was back… for revenge. I knew that Juka was in danger , because at that time he was all I had , all
I cherished and loved.
The time flew by really quickly and now it was
already another dusk. I was sitting in my chair in front of the fireplace , watching red flames dancing to the passionate
melody of the wind. The beautiful song was playing in the air.
“ as if wandering within illusion
like so you steer toward the realm of despair
everything that is reflected in the eyes might as well be destroyed
everything even the dreams
might as well be lost
tonight the banquet of darkness
dancing in the moonlight
the darkness of night closing in
in swaying thoughts, a kiss of crimson
in deep sleep like such you are… “
With the sound of the wind and sadness in my heart
a new song was born… Yet another clue to uncovering the concept of life and humanity… did I say “humanity“?
I am not even human anymore… but why do “they” fascinate me so much? Maybe because they are different
from us , who don’t have emotions such as happiness or love… when we become vampires , feelings that we had during
the transformation are the same feelings which we live with for eternity. So I also feel sadness and heartbreak…
I was lost in my thoughts , my mind was filled with anger and the glass of red wine which I was holding in my hand , now seemed
to be an object to which I transferred all of my hatred… the glass shattered into millions of small pieces which penetrated
my skin and then fell on the floor with a ear shattering noise. It was then when the smell of my own blood brought me back
from my reverie. I looked at my hand… I saw blood but I no longer felt pain. My wounds were healing. With all my soul
I wished that emotional pain could be healed as fast as physical…
It seemed
that this noise also woke Juka. I heard him stand up from the bed and walking towards me ,stumbling with every step. It seemed
that my spell was alittle bit too strong. I smiled.
“ So , you finally
woke up. “ - I said to him.
“ More like resurrected… My head
hurts and my whole body is numb… I feel like a zombie…” - he said in half whisper. I was rather amused.
Juka finally reached my chair and set next to me.
“ So can you tell
me what happened during the time at the NightClub ? “ - I inquired quietly. He didn’t answer at first , as if
trying to remember.
“ … I was dancing in the crowd…
when suddenly I saw a really handsome man walk by. He smiled at me … I couldn’t take my eyes off of him…
when suddenly… I…I got a strong headache.. It felt that my skull was splitting in two… and pictures started
flashing in front of my eyes…I saw myself… with some people , they were smiling… then I saw blood…
“ - he told me with a shaky voice. I wasn’t surprised… his human memories were coming back to him…
but usually that happens without pain.. Usually it happens during sleep. I was about to say something when Juka interrupted
me.
“ You , know … That man I saw that night…
I am sure I met him before… I just cannot remember where… “
“ That man…? “ - I suddenly realized something. The man that Juka saw… must have been him! He said
he came back for revenge… but what is his connection with Juka…?
I looked down at Juka. He was mesmerized by the flames. They kept dancing along with passionate melody…
I was watching their reflection in Juka’s eyes… I didn’t want to lose him… Every time he was
near me I felt “ happiness” … it is truly a really strong word… I couldn’t believe that
part of the consciousness that rivets that feeling was coming back to me after all these years… Juka was like a new
beginning to me… He was my new hope.
Chapter 6
I was tired since I havent slept for all this time while Juka was unconscious …
I felt my eyes closing on their own. I was so tired. I let myself slip into the deep sleep.
I don’t know how long I was asleep. But when I woke up , Juka wasn’t there. Normally I wouldn’t be worried
but ever since “he” came back , I wasn’t feeling safe anymore. I searched the Sanctuary but Juka wasn’t
there. I wanted to go outside to look for him when suddenly I heard footsteps.
“ It seems that your
little angel has escaped.” - he said in a mocking voice. I turned around but was immidietly knocked down on to the bed.
He pushed me down and held me down by my wrists. I couldn’t move. Seeing me helpless and powerless ,he showed me his
satisfied smile.
“ Are you trying to escape? “ - I looked at him with anger , clenching
my fists , I was trying to free myself from his strong grip. - “ It is futile. I am much stronger then you.”
He leaned closer to my face and tried to kiss me but I turned my head to the side. It seemed that this move made him more
excited. I turned my head to him and quietly said:
“ What are you trying to
do?”
“ Talk. But it seems that you wont listen to me.”
“ WE don’t have anything to talk about. Now let me go.”
“
Actually we do have something to talk about.”
“ What would that
be? “ - I said trying to free my arms. In response he clutched my arms even tighter. I could feel one of his spiked
rings digging into my flesh. I felt sharp pain penetrating my body. I could smell my blood. He was smiling.
“ Let me go, Gackt. “
“ So you still remember
my name , huh? But I wont let you go , at least Not before you listen to me”
“ So talk then” - I was trying to gather all of my strength and push him away with one powerful blow , before
I bled to my immortal death.
“ There is one thing I wanted to tell you.
About “Juka”…” - he whispered. I was surprised enough to stop struggling. - “ Remember
that night when you found him in the woods? He was wounded and helpless. Since he doesn’t remember his past , he doesn’t
know what happened to him and neither do you. I will shine some light on that… truth… Actually you
see , it was me who attacked him. I found him on the streets of the city. He looked so young , his blood smelled sweet and
delicious and his voice was that of an angel. I knew that YOU would love him. So I drank from him and then when he reached
near death I took him to the woods by your house and left him there. I knew that you would be able to smell his delicious
blood. And you did scent it . You couldn’t stop yourself from trying some. You killed him. I doubt you told him the
truth. I will watch you fade away in your own sorrow.“
I
was watching his lips as he was speaking. I was speechless and stunned by the horrible truth . I couldn’t believe
that this was all his conniving plan. I felt the hatred rise within my heart , I could feel flames of the dark fire burn inside
my chest. I looked him straight in the eyes and with one heavy blow I pushed him away. He crushed into the wall with enormous
power. I rose up in bed and started walking towards him while he was trying to stand up. It seemed that I wounded him rather
hard. He raised his head and was looking at me with that same smile. I lifted my hand up in the air , ready to strike him.
“ Its too late , you know…” - he said quietly
while spitting out blood. I looked at him in surprise , when I suddenly sensed the familiar scent. Juka! I turned around.
Juka was standing in the doorway holding a bouquet of red roses
in his hands. His eyes were filled with tears. The moonlight from behind him shined down at me. Suddenly he dropped roses
on the floor and the red petals rose up in the air with the passionate wind and slowly traveled across the room. I still didn’t
know what to say.
“ So this is what really happened…”
- I could hear his quiet voice echoing through the walls of “ Temple of Shadows”.
to be continued...
Chapter 7 ( Final Chapter)
Juka looked down at me. I could see
pain and disappointment in his eyes through the tears that kept running down his cheeks. It seemed that time has stopped ,
I could see the crimson petals of roses dancing through the air.
I
started to walk towards Juka. But stopped… I knew that right now… will be the last time I see his face so I wanted
to savor this moment and look at him for the last time. His face looked exactly the same …his expression was the same
as on that fateful night .The night which was supposed to be a beginning turned out to be another end ; Yet another loss and
another painful occurrence… It seemed that fate was playing an evil trick on me , yet again.
I found myself standing in the middle of my past and present… Gackt… was my past and Juka seemed to be my
new beginning… I was standing in the middle. I was torn… But this wasn’t my choice anymore… It all
was in the hands of fate.
“my mind, shackled in chains
was lost, fell into ruin amidst the rubble
shattering... being rent asunder...
now, my wish is that my grief will be deadened
...disintegrated
the flower in full bloom is shattering
now, if it rots away, my suffering will be deadened
shattering... breing rent asunder...
the flower in full bloom is shattering
the flower fluttering in the sky is being
torn and scattered
the flower fluttering in the sky is... “
I could hear Gackt behind me. He was laughing. His quiet laughter
turned into ecstatic hilarity. He was laughing so hard. Every sound of his laughter felt like a sharp dagger penetrating my
heart. For the first time I felt tears swelling up in my eyes. Gackt has defeated me. And he knew it.
Juka was still there looking at me , I could see his eyes asked to explain… his eyes begged me to argue the lies…his
eyes had hope…hope in me. Yet I knew that those eyes would be disappointed… the hope in those eyes would turn
into hate. I stepped closer to Juka.
“ It is true. “ - those three simple words
that came out of my mouth. Those three words have decided my destiny and my future. The future without Juka. I could hear
Gackt’s satisfied laugh. I could see Juka’s eyes filled with hate and feeling of betrayal. He looked at me for
the last time and said :
“ For the first time in my life I can see how eternity can
be lonely…” With these words he vanished. Gackt was still behind me. I could hear him walking towards me.
“ So the truth is out. Are you going to finish what you started?”
I didn’t know what to say…
I couldn’t move a muscle. He came close to me and whispered in my ear.
“
I win.”
I turned around. Gackt was covered in his own blood…the injuries that I have
inflicted on him have almost healed. He looked pitiful yet why did I feel like I was the one who should be pitied. I could
feel tears , the drops of defeat , running down my cheeks. Gackt’s decadent expression suddenly changed to astonished.
It seems that was the first time he has seen my tears. After that he vanished , I guess even an emotionally strong vampire
like he , couldn’t deal with this situation.
A man never shows his tears. Because
tears are considered to be a sign of weakness of undignified and infantile person. Whom it seems I have become…
I was alone in the “Temple of Shadows” … a place that meant so much to me , the place that held all of my
history… and my painful memories…I felt lost and betrayed like I did before…The chilling wind was singin
a song to me…
“a dying man bids a sorrowful farewell to
a vision suspended in the indigo-streaked
sky
an illusion deep within the darkness shrouded in fog
decaying and perishing among
beautiful ruins
fallen into ruin
Ah... the moon being covered in shadow
shrouded my tears in fluttering darkness
Ah... our ephemeral love, led on by the moon
we are made to dance in the flickering
shadows
my reality crumbles under the pale, roiling sky
my betrayer bids me a smiling farewell
your lie perish and die
Ah... our ephemeral love, led away by the moon
torn apart in its restless shadows
the moon being covered in shadow projects
your sparkling silhouette in the darkness
Ah... our ephemeral love, led on by the moon
we are made to dance in the flickering
shadows “
Once again the truth turned out to be an illusion. Yet another wrong
step that I took , yet another dagger was plunged into my heart. Yet another lesson in trust and reality was taught to me
by the cruel fate.
This place reeked of blood and tears. I couldn’t bare to stay
here any longer. I walked up the staircase and went outside. The moon ruled the sky with all its noble glow. I looked at my
eternal companion and smiled. I finally decided to close the doors to my past and shackle them in chains , until the time
when they will be opened yet again.
I started walking towards the cliff. Leaving the trail of
blood and tears behind me. The playful wind was playing with my cloak , blowing it from side to side. The only thing that
I have taken with me from my past was a little book with weared out cover - my diary; now covered with my blood.
I was walking and didn’t notice that I have arrived to the cliff. I found myself standing at the edge , looking
down at the beautiful blue water beneath me and a cold trail of the moonlight , towards the escape door. I smiled. I was laughing
at myself and at my thoughts. As I looked at the horizon which held a whole different world behind the simple line , I could
see my fate.
Though I did take another misleading step , my path to the true nature behind the curse
, the burden of which I was carrying over my shoulders for centuries, was not yet over. I could see that behind that horizon
, a new destiny … a new clue was lying. A new beginning of the end. I always lived my life like this , taking another
clue and learning yet another lesson of life. The cruelty of the world which I lived in. So I decided to take the next step
and keep searching for that something that would change my life.
The wind was blowing my
coat towards the horizon as if pulling me into the right direction , as if showing the right way… a right path.
With
this ominous sign I decided to take a new bold step to the new world.
embracing in radiant splendor, you see me
this mirage-like shadow is unnoticed by all
Share this world with you again
in the
whirlpool of delight and sense
both of us proceed to the stage
this song is dedicated to you...
Break a spell, now return to the sky
As time goes by, meet again by destiny
once again, in that world
embracing in a whirlpool of delight
from within your solitude, you extend your hand to me
I can see you are together with me in this song
Now return to the sky
As time goes by, meet again by destiny
once again, in that world
Break a spell, now return to the sky
As time goes by, meet again by destiny
embracing in a
whirlpool of radiant splendor
Now return to the sky No phobia
voices of delight are calling you
The only way to get away from loneliness is to love it
I remember with beloved tune
The unfinished stage is still
shining
~Mana
The End
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